With Emissions Reductions Minister Taylor back in Australia, the role of Head of Delegation was passed onto the coffee machine in the Australian Pavilion.
Australia has shown very high ambition with its coffee game at this COP, receiving net zero complaints from the hundreds of caffeine hungry delegates stopping by the Pavilion for their daily hit. However, not all have been impressed by this new tactic of coffee diplomacy.
“Clearly the Government hopes that the quality and volume of free coffee being dispensed will distract from Australia’s woeful lack of action on climate change,” said Skippy the Kangaroo.
“We set a national target for our coffee queue to be longer than the queue to enter COP26 at 8am, and I think we achieved that ambition without loss or damage,” said an Australian Government diplomat.
Speaking earlier, the coffee machine was also able to provide some insight into the details of the Government’s new climate finance pledge, confirming that Australia plans to count the millions of dollars in free coffee towards fulfilment of its contribution to the $100bn goal. The machine is yet to be informed of the escalating impacts of climate change upon coffee production.
A spokesperson for Minister Taylor said that Australia was proud it was meeting and beating its coffee target for this COP and has been dispensing coffee at a faster rate than any other country. “It’s great Aussie tech, on display here in Glasgow, making sure we’re caffeinating Australians but also fuelling the developing world to get the job done too.” Asked what kind of coffee he likes to drink himself, the Minister said that he wasn’t actually a fan and that he and the delegation preferred to drink the Kool-Aid.